How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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