Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
