I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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