Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
