And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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