Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
