Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
