do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
