Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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