that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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