I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
