my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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