The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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