I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
