all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
