That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
