Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+44): View more from England

Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.

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(407): View more from Florida

I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

we have officially mastered the walk of shame

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(650): View more from California

I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.

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(801): View more from Utah

Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first

(206): View more from Washington

You are the luckiest man alive

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(224): View more from Illinois

you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney

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(214): View more from Texas

What do you think it is?

(615): View more from Tennessee

It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.

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(205): View more from Alabama

We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.

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