Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
