I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
