Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
