I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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