marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
