Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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