If that was your dad, he is hot
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
