No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
