I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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