I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Sext me about skeletons
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
