Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Randomize