guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
