omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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