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• (847): View more from Illinois

  just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.

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• (516): View more from New York

  any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?

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• (619): View more from California

  We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.

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