I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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