"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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