Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize