Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
