You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
