gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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