I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize