I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
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