Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
