Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
