..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
