Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
