This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
