(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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