i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
if only i could text you this smell
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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