This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
