Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
