I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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