i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
so much tequila, so little girl.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize