Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
id be glad to
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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