does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
