You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
