K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
