hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize